Who are you?

who are you reallybehind your smile
who makes my life so worth its while
who makes all those lonely days a distant past
in who's anticipation did I really last?
....dedicated to the thought, anticipation, and being that you are.

Chemistry

I don't think we've met before
I don't think we've spoken either
All I know is that now forever more
it doesn't matter if we've done neither

.......... less said the better

Acknowledgement

The skies opened as if to say
worry not, we'll cry your tears away

I had a one of those days moment last evening after ages (2 months), when I finally allowed myself to feel angry and cry. This morning as I stepped out of my house, faced the lovely ocean and cast sky, a downpour started as if to assure me all is fine. Nature is not called mother nature for nothing.

Father Figure

Larger than life

deeper than love

my saviour from strife

I find peace in your grove

an ocean of relief 

your presence is

a perennial belief 

that life is bliss

your comforting voice

will din my every scream

save my grace and poise

in finding my every dream

I promise to try my every way

to be like you in life some day

I dream of being like my Dad some day soon..... 

Umbitter Lust

Be it dawn, noon or dusk
My senses seek your magic musk
In your absence I often think
I will reach insanity's brink
To taste your adult flavor
And its richness for moments savor
So often have I tried to sneak
To have you in my moments weak
If from you I have to abstain
No other company will I entertain
I profess my love most true
To you, my umber bitter brew!

And you thought .... ;-)?

Addict's Verdict

Some habits like people I want for keeps
Where absence is all that makes me weep
Rain or sunshine, my Sundays ain’t same
Without my caffeine fix, the mornings’ so lame

I love, hug, kiss, enjoy, and cherish my coffee... and if its from my mom's kitchen, freshly brewed degree filter coffee, I love it ten times more...... I can go without food and water but never my kaapi!

I sometimes recall my gypsy days

When I was content in every way

the days I drank just rum and coke

the days when I was happy and mostly broke

wearing dreams like my flouncy skirt

and an attitude quite immune to hurt

though I drifted and wandered about

I stayed the same always no doubt

later I outgrew my gypsy garb

But I didnt do so because of any barb

I have realized what I love about me

Is that at heart a gypsy I'll always be

The gypsy in me shall never die! This is one quality I love about myself :-)

Disciple's Woe

To defend you is insult enough

but to not is even more tough

I wonder how to let it go

to not tell them what all I know

A mind ahead of your times you were

A storm of the highest did you stir

Very often when I talk about my favorite teacher Osho, I am more often than not confronted with his media made image of a sex guru. People who haven't even read anything about him have told me I have warped my head by reading his works. To defend him is such an insult to the man who said courage is the crux of everything - love, trust etc... and who also said "dont follow me." A man and mind ahead of his times.... I wish I could have experienced his presence atleast once in my lifetime! I am so grateful to my parents for introducing me to his writing.

Abridged

I think it not we drifted apart
but built an endless bridge heart to heart

I don't think I can ever break or burn bridges..... distance( in the heart & mind) makes the strong and mature heart build spectacular and everlasting bridges. I am mapped to everyone in my universe by these bridges.

Closure

To shun, shut or shirk

with me would never work

from casual to formal

so suddenly isn't normal

my heart lurked in danger

in accepting you as a stranger

but as absurdly honest is life

this hasn't been a strife

Unknown hidden some where

Did I have strength to bear

that what was we is dead

I found closure in my head

Don't look for closure when it's in your head darling! 

Menagerie

To some I listen to some I dont
For some I'll kill, for some I wont
With some I'll laugh for some I'll cry
To feing interest in the boring I'll try
For a fewer few I bother to be
Nothing less than perfect me!

My life is so exotic because of all the people in it. I have tried many times to think of one person I dislike and have never managed to identify them. Our equations may have been less than equal, but even in the inequality there is some equal :-)

Ceaseless Chance

Wake up oh tired but rested mind
Start the journey for the mysteries to find
There is an invitation for you to accept
To discover every treasure without except
In an opportunity called life that screams
“Explore with me and decorate your dreams”

:-) thats all I can say

Living Dead

as seconds tick and time flies
a histroy made, somebody dies
as you and me take every breath
we are indeed nearing death
to discuss and debate the why of then
to wonder if sense shall come and when
to fight over all that was done and said
makes one nothing but living dead!

Osho says that with every moment of our life we are indeed dying, so to live in the past implies you're nothing but a dead man living!

Mystery

Inexplainable shall best describe

the mystery that surrounds this earth

no religion shall preach nor doctrine describe

who ceases life or blesses birth

- a reflection after reading Kabir and Osho, who's religion is love

Past Burden

through acts of confessions, confidence and care
you strip your reality to me all bare
A truth i may not want to embrace
a path i neither want to tread or trace
this generous gift of penitent past
A braindead burden to ever last?
I beg you not my love to try
such clever ways to make me cry........

sweet :-)

Unreality

Today I made a promise to me

That for myself alone I shall ever be

Happiness, sorrow, love, or pain

suffering from loss, or enjoyment from gain

to me alone, shall I solely bare

the thoughts that tread for none to spare!

A very tough lesson learnt this weekend. I am finally writing again. 

I Realize

love, happiness, and fun in main

I bestow upon myself - not in vain

for to lose is lot, but much more to gain

perpetual goodness simple and plain

for there is nothing romantic in perpetual pain!!

I am serious my friends, I realize there is nothing romantic and brave in experiencing pain. Don't dwell or stay in something if it gives you any. Reflections on a lesson learnt rather hard.

Ev(e)olved

I seek to change a lot in me

to break some shackles and set free

I want to strip the solitude 

 chase the demons in my attitude

work with all my heart and soul

positive vibes to dish and dole

New journeys I am about to make

I am willing to give all it takes

when a beamish morrow makes way

I want to have only the best to say

I am starting to realize the virtue of living alone, and roughing it out. I complained all of last year, so much that I missed the beauty of what was happening to me. This year I want to ensure I don't do too much of that. I am at least going to try and love myself and the gift thats my life even more. :-D Like my best friend says often men don't come across women who love themselves.